I Thought I'd Lost You
by Athena Alexandria
Summary: News of the attack on the temple forces Jack to re-examine his priorities. Set during Dr Linus. Jate.


I don't know about you guys, but I found Jack's reaction to what went down at the temple pretty disappointing considering that someone just told him Kate might be _dead_, so I decided to write a more Jate-friendly version. Since I still have 3 WIPs and a mini fic to finish (not to mention a bunch of other ideas based on season six), it's unlikely that I'll turn it into an ongoing fic, but again, that scene had too much untapped potential to ignore... ;)

* * *

I THOUGHT I'D LOST YOU

"Everyone at the temple's dead."

It took a second for the meaning of Richard's words to sink in, and then Jack rounded on him. "What d'you mean they're all dead?" he demanded. "What happened?" It wasn't possible. It had to be part of some new mind game to get them to do whatever he wanted them to do, like Jacob telling Hurley that he had what it took.

"I'm not sure what happened," Richard confessed, "but I just came from there and there was no survivors."

"What about our friends? Sayid? Kate?" Jack's throat constricted painfully as he uttered her name. He'd just seen her yesterday, whole and alive and determined not to take his advice as usual. How could she be dead? It didn't make any sense.

Despite how badly things had ended between them, he was still in love with her, and he knew that some part of him always would be; he waited for grief to come, to bring him to his knees like it had Sawyer, but instead he was just numb, his heart refusing to accept what his brain was telling him was the truth. He just couldn't imagine a world without her in it.

"They weren't there," Richard told them and Jack felt a small ember of hope rekindle inside of him. If he hadn't actually seen her body, then she might still be okay. She said she was going to try to find Claire; for all he knew, she was still out in the jungle somewhere, miles from whatever carnage had gone down at the temple. "Maybe they made it out alive. All I know is that whatever you're looking for at the temple, it's not there."

"_I hope you find what you're looking for." _

That was the last thing Kate had said to him before they went their separate ways, maybe even the last thing she would ever say to him. She hadn't been able to figure out what that was because he didn't understand it well enough himself to explain it to her, but she knew it wasn't her.

It was that thought – the thought that if she was dead, then she must have died believing that he didn't love her anymore – that finally brought the tears to his eyes; if she was still alive, he needed to set the record straight, and if she wasn't… then he at least wanted to be the one to bury her himself. She deserved that much from him, especially when it was his obsession with destiny that had gotten her killed. He never should have asked her to come back with him in the first place.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Richard asked when, without another word, he turned and started walking in the opposite direction to the one they'd been headed in.

"I'm going back."

"Did you hear what I just said?" he called after him. "There's nothing left to go back to."

But Jack's mind was made up.

As he left them behind in the clearing, he heard Hurley tell Richard, "Dude, let him go – his girlfriend was in there."

* * *

"Jack!" His first reaction was that he must be going crazy, hearing her voice in his head because of how desperately he wanted Richard to be right about her making it out, but then there she was, striding through the brush towards him in exactly the same condition as the last time he saw her, albeit a little dirtier. "I've been looking all over for you."

He sprinted the last twenty yards in his eagerness to close the distance between them, colliding with her and drawing her into a kiss that left them both gasping for breath. As his mouth covered hers, he felt her go rigid with shock, but then she came alive again under his touch, kissing him back with all of the intensity of someone who had just faced down death.

When they broke for air, he pulled her to his chest and held her tightly. "I thought I'd lost you," he whispered into her tangled curls. "Richard said everyone at the temple was dead."

She pulled away from him then. "It was awful, Jack," she agreed, tears welling up in her eyes at the memory. "That _thing_ came and it… It killed everyone. Dogen, Lennon – they're all dead. I didn't know if I was ever gonna see you again."

It was all so surreal; he didn't know what to say so he hugged her again, pressing his lips to her hair to soothe her. "I'm sorry I told you to go back there. I really thought you'd be safe." To hell with Jacob. Next time he was bringing her with him.

She pushed him back, lifting her head so that she could see into his eyes. "Claire's alive," she told him softly.

Not this again. He shook his head stubbornly. It was three years since anyone had seen her: how could she have survived all that time on her own? His sister was dead. He'd already made peace with that.

"She's alive, Jack," Kate repeated more urgently. "I talked to her. Told her about Aaron. She thought the Others took him."

He was so focused on her that he hadn't paid much attention to their surroundings; he surveyed them now, part of him expecting Claire to come wandering out of the trees after her, but it was clear that she was alone. "Where is she now?" he pressed, consumed with the need to see her for himself, especially after what Dogen had told him.

"She's with Sayid and a man who looks like Locke," Kate explained, a barely perceptible shudder running through her and Jack couldn't help being startled, even though he wouldn't be the first person to return to the dead today. "I think she's in trouble, Jack. That's why I've been trying to find you. I was hoping we could rescue her together."

They could be anywhere by now. "Do you even know where they were headed?" he asked her.

"No" she admitted, "but if we start from the temple, I could probably track them."

After the hell he'd just been through, he was determined not to let her out of his sight again as long as they remained on this island. He hadn't chosen her before; he wasn't going to make the same mistake this time. "Then let's go."

* * *

Reviews are always appreciated. ;)


End file.
